In 2006, my ex-wife, Diana, who you’ve heard me talk about, came into the room where I was taking a nap, and she said, “You have to come out here and see this! The sky is beautiful!”
I said something like, “Ugh, that’s fine. Let me sleep.” And I rolled over.
I figured I had seen plenty of sunsets, and I would see plenty more.
She took a picture of that sunset, and you’re looking at it now. But oh, how I wish I had gotten up from that nap and shared the moment with her in person.
It wasn’t about seeing a sunset. It was about me valuing things important to her; about me demonstrating that her feelings and thoughts and observations were such a real treasure to me, that I wouldn’t be able to help but want to share the experience with her.
Yes, I’ve seen many sunsets, and I will hopefully see many more. But this was the one that mattered, and I blew it.
Authentic recovery from emotional disorders brings with it the ability to experience true intimacy with the people we care about; a deep desire to understand their thoughts, feelings, and perspectives, because we begin to see them as individuals rather than just as suppliers or deniers of our own needs and wants. We stop seeing them as inanimate possessions. This happens because we work hard to identify in what ways our attitude toward the nature of ‘self’ (or people), as well as our understanding of the nature of life, are slightly distorted, and then we correct these subtle, unhealthy misconceptions.
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So here it is, a look at the only sunset that has really mattered in my life so far - through the eyes of my ex-wife, Diana.
I wonder what she was thinking and feeling as the shutter clicked?